10 Places You Must See in SD
Cabrillo National Monument
I can’t believe how long it took me to finally make my way to Cabrillo! This place has the cute charm of New England – with its picture perfect lighthouse, and still holds that California stunning cliff view. From reading about the historic lighthouse to exploring hidden caves and tide pools, this is the perfect first stop on your family vacay. Make sure to go when the tide isn’t too high so you can explore the caves and see the leopard sharks!
Sunset Cliffs
Sunset Cliffs is seriously the best of both worlds (shout out to HM). Don’t let the name fool you – there’s plenty to do before sunset occurs. Whether you’re looking for a romantic evening with a big blanket, some red wine and a surreal sunset, or you’re looking to take on an adventurous day, SC is the place to be! This natural land mark offers plenty of excitement: from exploring the beach to discovering secret sinkholes and sea caves, to even cliff jumping, it’s no wonder adrenaline junkies love this place! If you’re looking for more of a calm evening however, SC never disappoints. These breathtaking yet perilous cliffs are easily one of San Diego’s natural wonders.
Farmers Market: Ocean Beach, Little Italy & Hillcrest
One of my favorite things about SD is the abundant amount of farmers markets that go on year-round! Who doesn’t love gigantic sunflowers, live music and delicious samples? I’ll wait…
Farmers markets create a sense of community by supporting local businesses, bringing people together and enjoying the little things in life. While there are tons to choose from, these are my top three: OB (Wednesdays 4pm-8pm), Little Italy (Saturdays 8am-2pm), and Hillcrest (Sundays 9am-2pm). Each market has an array of fresh hand-picked fruits and vegetables, a taste of different cultures, a collection of vibrant flowers and plants, beautiful art pieces, and showcases by talented musicians! Not to mention, all of the cute dogs everywhere. Makes sense I find farmers markets to be so therapeutic!
Balboa Park
This majestic park has over a dozen museums and art exhibits, a quaint Spanish village, charming international cottages, tasty cafes, the Old Globe Theatre, gift shops, and enchanting gardens. Get your dose of history while still enjoying the scenic views. I’d highly recommend Food Truck Fridays! It’s a great place to people-watch with even better food to get your nom on. Balboa Park is a must-see and can easily fulfill a day’s worth of activities! Make sure to bring a camera – you’ll want to take a billion pictures of the mesmerizing architect, beautiful landscape, and you might even see a proposal take place! And if you’re in town for December Nights, you should 110% check it out. It’s by far, one of my favorite culture festivals.
Ho Chi Minh Trail
Don’t be discouraged by the secret entrance. If you’re walking alongside a house and feel a tad bit sketched out then you’re probably on the right track. This is one of SD’s hidden hikes that leads to a breathtaking ending making the hour-long trek completely worth it! Surfers in the 60’s discovered this difficult path, naming it after the famous trail used during the Vietnam War. If you’re scared of tight spaces, rock climbing and balancing on thin edges then this might not be the hike for you. If you’re brave enough to take on this trail, however, you’ll be thrilled you did – it’s a great workout with an even better view! Don’t forget sunscreen, plenty of water and maybe even a bathing suit. 😉
Seaport Village
The name says it all. Seaport Village is filled with cute shops, making it the perfect place to pick up souvenirs, lovely restaurants, and a perfect view of the harbor. Enjoy a romantic night walk along the bay with illuminated trees and waves calmly rolling in. If you have time, take a historic tour of the USS Midway Museum. The Museum’s located on a real ship that was used in the Vietnam war. I’d also recommend grabbing some dinner in the area; take advantage of the waterfront fresh seafood and head to Top of the Market, Fish Market or Harbor House. If you’re not a seafood lover- then I’d suggest Puesto, they have delicious tacos, the best margaritas and a beautiful ambiance! If this isn’t on your itinerary, make some space! Seaport Village is a must-see and also, makes for a romantic date night.
Windansea Beach
One of the coolest hidden gems in San Diego is Windansea Beach. Right in beautiful La Jolla on Neptune Street; this beach takes first place in San Diego. Not only is the water crystal clear and turquoise blue, but the marine life there is incredible! Windansea is highly known for having miraculous tide pools inside the giant rocks formations. A mini ecosystem is right in front of your eyes! How cool is that? Besides your typical, snails, slugs, starfish, crabs and sea urchins, you can spot stingrays and leopard sharks if you go into the ocean. Windansea is a great place sit back and watch the surfers or make your way down to the local’s all time favorite- Marine Street!
Liberty Station
Moving to California had its perks (obviously) but I knew I was going to miss Massachusetts. What’s better than novelty centers like Faneuil Hall in downtown Boston? You can imagine how ecstatic I was when I came across Liberty Station in Point Loma. For those of you who are not familiar with Liberty Station, it is home to a public market – including twenty seven vendors – numerous high-end restaurants, a brewery and wine shop, and offers free outdoor films, pottery-making workshops, shopping, a Pilates studio and much more! All you savory feens be sure to stop by STUFFED where their signature burger features mac-n-cheese (insert drool emoji). And for my sweet tooth lovers, be sure to hit up Scooped where they serve gelato and bread pudding. For my meat lovers, check out Soda & Swine. Of course, I didn’t forget about my bougie kings and queens, I’d recommend the LOT or Fireside by The Patio.
Old Town, San Diego
Come get a glimpse of the Mexican culture in Old Town, San Diego, A.K.A. little Mexico! Old Town has to-die-for Mexican cuisine, vibrant boutiques, a sweet candy shop, and a real-life haunted house! The Whaley House Museum was home to Thomas Whaley and his family. Many of them passed away inside the house, and it’s rumored to be one of the most haunted places in San Diego. I have yet to check it out for myself because I’m usually feasting on delicious Mexican meals! (And I may or may not be low-key scared). If haunted houses aren’t your niche then you can also check out the State Historic Park, take a trolley tour, pick up little tokens in the gift shops or enjoy divine cuisine! My favorite Mexican restaurant in all of SD is Casa Guadalajara, found in Old Town. They have homemade tortillas, authentic mexican dishes, mouthwatering churros, and delicious margaritas (the size of tu cabeza). They even have live Mariachi bands and the staff dresses in huipil clothing. Casa Guadalajara is for sure a taste of authentic Mexico! Another top restaurant in Old Town, is Harney Sushi (for my sushi lovers), with a trendy/ romantic ambiance. No matter where you choose, you’ll have a great time in Little Mexico.
Coronado
This list wouldn’t be complete without having Coronado on it! This dreamy island is home to one of Southern California’s favorite beaches. Could it be the white sand and charming town? Whether you’re looking for a fun day trip or night time getaway, Coronado will never disappoint. This island has it all! I highly recommend visiting the famous Hotel del Coronado. They offer beach spinning classes, yoga, water sports, relaxing spa sessions, and 5-star restaurants. Other daytime activities include: renting bikes, paddle boarding, shopping, enjoying a beach day, having a picnic at Tidelands Park, or hitting the dog beach! If you’re exploring Coronado at night, you can visit a high-end restaurant and explore downtown, visit the local theatre and watch a play, start a beach bonfire and catch the sunset or go ice-skating at the Del if it’s the right season. Trust me, you do not want to miss all the amazing activities Coronado has to offer!
Best Vegan Restaurants in LA
Get inmy belly
What a great way to start off the day! This place is trendy and delicious. Cafe Gratitude has six locations in Southern California- L.A, Venice, Newport and San Diego. Their menu offers groovy cocktails, colorful salads and bowls, hardy entrees and mouth-watering brunch options- which is what I experienced. The second my eyes saw “cinnamon bun” I knew it was going to be a good day. I immediately ordered it. And then inhaled it. It wasn’t too sweet or too messy, but man, did it hit the spot. I also got the Chilaquiles which were smothered in avocado. Can you say YUM? And my friend couldn’t resist the acai bowl; it was the perfect mixture between creamy and sorbet. Obviously my spoon made its way over. So you get it- the food was bomb.com, but what really won me over was my drink. I wish I could tell you the name of it..but it wasn’t even on the current menu. I showed my waitress a picture I had seen on yelp, and next thing I knew, I had this electric blue drink in my hand. Hands down best drink I’ve ever had at brunch. Thanks for a chic ambiance & an event better meal!
Is it weird if I’ve only been here once, and I’m already obsessed with it? Don’t judge me. The Green Table Cafe is an Italian-inspired cafe started by Led and Britney, husband and wife. How cute is that? You can tell their items are hand-picked (or hand-made I should say) and so is there staff. Every person made me feel welcomed. Now even though this is your average size cafe, I somehow still felt overwhelmed. So many drinks- so many bowls- so little time. From elixir shots, espresso drinks, organic smoothies, superfood bowls, to a full lunch menu AND vegan desserts.. I didn’t know where to begin. My rosy cheeks must have hinted at my anxiety. Thankfully, the barista chimed in to help me make a decision. I went with The Field of Flowers: Banana, Tocos protein, almond butter, maple syrup & hemp milk blended together and topped with fresh banana, almond butter, hemp seeds & maple syrup. The bowl was a little sweet for me; I should’ve have had it as a dessert or asked for more almond butter to bring out the savory taste. It reminded me of banana fosters. As for my drink- I wish I could order that every day. I ordered a Turmeric Latte, and it was so refreshing as well as energizing! The baristas also mentioned that this latte was the best for a Instagram pic! Bloggers love this spot for a reason. I highly recommend this place if you’re looking for a cute cafe to get some work done and if you’re a coffee/smoothie lover!
This restaurant is right in Weho near Santa Monica Blvd, and it might be the epitome of doing (vegan) brunch in LA. Atmosphere, food, and service were on point. First of all, I love Mexican food, I mean who doesn’t? So I had high expectations as soon as I walked in. The restaurant is absolutely gorgeous and had a modern, upscale, and Latin feel to it. I wish I took pictures of the decor, but I was too focused on how amazing my food was. I ordered the Guacamole Con Tortillas which I drooled over. For my entree I had the Tacos which consisted of barbecue jackfruit carnitas, cashew crema, pickled cabbage, crispy onion, and black beans. So how did I wash down all this amazing Mexican food? With their snow cone drink, La Quinceañera- tequila blanco, kiwi, mint, lime bitters, hielo raspado. Not only was this drink colorful and fun, it paired so well with my meal. The subtle hints of tequila mixed with the shaved ice made for refreshingly tasty drink. Good thing we were on a time-limit. Otherwise I would have ordered four more. Gracias, Gracias Madre for the upbeat ambiance & divine Mexican food. This place will definitely be seeing my face again.
P.S. Gracias Madre and Cafe Gratitude are sister restaurants. No wonder they’re both on my list.
Be good toyour taste buds
4. Crossroads
Can you feel the love tonight? Romance is definitely in the air at Crossroads on Melrose. Whether your parents are in town or you’re having a date night, Crossroads is my number one recommendation. This classy restaurant puts a twist on your typical Seafood and Italian dish. I ordered vegan scallops referred to as the Grilled Maitake Mushrooms- baby artichokes / celery root and potato purée / white wine caper butter sauce. The culinary skills are impressive here. The mushrooms had the same texture as scallops. I was shocked. It’s no secret this is an upscale restaurant. Our waiter was extremely knowledgeable and friendly too. He recommended the “scallops” as well as my main course- Tagliatelle Bolognese. This was the best thing I had eaten all day. I also just love Italian food. This dish was creamy and tasteful and best of all- it was vegan, so I never felt sluggish afterwards. My taste buds were in heaven at this place.
Sage might be the most well-known out of the five restaurants. Think of the Cheesecake Factory- but VEGAN. Sage has a colossal menu- from brunch, to a extensive lunch and dinner menu, and (thankfully) an entire dessert list. They offer shakes, home-made goods such as warm bread pudding, brownies, muffins, ice cream and cakes (yes, even cheesecake). So why did I go with ice cream instead of gooey brownies or thick cheesecake? Because. I have a problem. I ordered Strawberry Ice-Cream which I instantly regretted. I was just too full from eating (for practically a small village) all day. I will 100% be returning to give a proper review because obviously ice cream is hard to mess up. It was delicious, and how could it not be? Coconut milk makes everything rich in flavor. Good news is Sage isn’t going anywhere any time soon so I can redeem myself. They have three restaurants, one food truck, and they even happen to be at Coachella this year! Cheers to seeing Sage (& other vegan restaurants) at more festivals & street food fairs!
After venturing around LA all day, I can now say- my belly (and heart) is full. I hope you enjoyed my vegan food tasting day in this magical city!
Been to any of these restaurants? I’d love to hear your experience! Have other recommendations? What restaurants turn your taste buds on? Comment below!
Top Five Podcasts
There’s nothing better than starting your day off with a cup of coffee.. or a podcast. You know the saying, “two birds, one stone.” That’s how I feel every time I listen to a podcast. I’m constantly learning, laughing and growing from tuning into my favorite shows.
It’s weird to think there was a time when I didn’t listen to podcasts. Is it embarrassing if I admit I didn’t even know what they were? Once I realized how easy it is to find podcasts, I quickly developed, “podcast fever.” I became addicted, and my Pinterest board can prove it.
Not only does tuning in to your favorite episodes make the time go by faster when you’re cooking or driving home from work but you’re constantly absorbing information and expanding your horizons. One of my favorite things to do on a Monday morning- is have my tea and tune into a podcast. Another favorite time to binge listen is when I’m roadtrippin’. Podcasts can be listened to almost anywhere at any time. I’ll even reward myself for going to the gym by tuning in to an episode I’ve been dying to hear- and yes I have nearly fallen off the treadmill from laughter.
So how many podcasts have I listened to? Let’s just say, if I had more fingers (and toes) then I could count. So below are my all-time favorite podcasts. I highly recommend each and every one for different reasons. See what calls your name and give it a shot!
PodcastFever
I am not exaggerating when I say I have almost peed myself while listening to this podcast. Guys We’ve F*cked is run by Corrine Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson. And let me tell you, I have never felt like more of a fan girl. I secretly wish they would be my friend- or adopt me. Whatever.
First of all, these badasses are from the East Coast- so you know they keep it one-hundred. They continue to have open, honest and non-judgmental conversations throughout their show. Whether they look into sexual taboos, give advice, share their personal stories, or invite guest speakers on, each episode is empowering, captivating and hilarious. However, this podcast is not for those of you who have sensitive ears.. These NYC based babes love to drop F-bombs. Can you tell?
If you can get passed the profound language, then you’re in for the best “anti-slut shamming” podcast you’ve ever heard. I even called my mom after listening to a two hour episode and told her I felt like I had just watched a movie. You bet I made her download it! I’d recommend this podcast if you need a good laugh- some advice in the bedroom- or a self-esteem booster.
I’ve always wanted an older sister- and when I met Jenna (well sort of), I felt like I finally got one. Jenna Kutcher is the host of Goal Digger- a podcast that offers inspiration and motivation and not in the intimidating way.
Maybe some of you know her as the girl who took a $300 craigslist camera and turned it into a 7 figure empire- or the girl who’s from Wisconsin and loves Mac N cheese. Either way, her advice and insight is powerful.
Jenna keeps it honest and real, and the best part is that she shows up as herself. She’s never pretending to be something she’s not and to me that is the coolest thing anyone could do. Jenna is constantly giving out free workshops and hacks to the social media and marketing world.
Her love and support feels unconditional. Jenna genuinely routes for us- no matter how big or small our dreams are. She says right on her website, “ If I can be that permission granter in your life that whispers: “you really can do this” while the rest of the world is provoking doubt… then I’ll consider my job done.”
Thanks for the workshops, inspiration, tips and tricks, funny stories, and helping us pursue our passions. No wonder if you look up “favorite podcasts” on any platform- I guarantee this will be on the list.
3. SMALL DOSES WITH AMANDA SEALES
I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already heard of Amanda Seales. She’s an artist, comedian, actress, musician and straight up hustla’. Amanda has done it all, which makes her extremely credible when it comes to giving advice. She constantly makes us think, which hopefully, leads to change.
Each episode she brings powerful insight and shares her personal experiences. Her topics surround issues most of us are familiar with. She takes serious matters and uses humor to impact people- without lecturing them. And that my friends, is a true skill. Amanda is known for keeping it real,which in turn can feel like tough-love. Tough-love can be hard to hear, but the best thing about it is that the person giving it, usually cares.. a lot.
Everyone needs an Amanda in their life- someone that has your back but never hides from the truth. I wish I had known about this podcast while I was in college. I think it would’ve guided me along the way. Maybe the titles can show you what I’m referring to: “Side Effects of Fuckboys,” “Side Effects of Being Broke,” “Side Effects of Insecurity,” and “Side of Effects of Toxic Relationships.”
I have never binge listened to a podcast- I didn’t even think that was a thing? From the first episode, I was hooked. Talk about love-at-first-podcast.
Up and Vanished is created by Payne Lindsey, a 30-year old documentary film-maker who lives in Georgia. He aims to tell real life stories – and his podcast does the same.
Up and Vanished revolves around a real-life missing person’s case- Tara Grinstead. Payne explains, “What started as an experiment to explore a story turned into a mission for the truth.” I’ll be the first to tell you, nail-biting and spine-chilling don’t even begin to describe it. The way he told the story, the way it unfolded- I felt like I was watching a true-crime Netflix series. This podcast had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.
Payne is extremely talented, and it’s amazing that he’s not an investigator in real life. If you’re into thrillers or true-crime stories, this is one’s for you. This podcast also makes for the perfect road-trip. Happy Binging!
What comes to mind when I listen to Real Talk Radio by Nicole Antionette? Think Humans of New York — takes on a podcast. But better. One question Nicole asks is, “What does it look like to choose courage over comfort?” Nicole focuses on social justice issues and takes on stereotypes by interviewing a variety of people. “Each season, I sit down with eight refreshingly imperfect people to have unfiltered conversations about what’s really going on in our lives.”
I haven’t found a podcast quite like this one before; it’s like a breath of fresh air. Nicole makes it very clear that she’s not here to lecture us or tell us how to jump-start our career. She’s simply here to share stories, have honest conversations and embrace this crazy thing called life. She’s not afraid of imperfection and admires people who aren’t afraid to be themselves. To each their own, Nicole!
This is the perfect podcast if you need a reminder that it’s ok to be different! Listen to any episode, and it will show you how much good there is in the world.
GrowLaugh
Learn
I hope you find these recommendations helpful. There were several podcasts that didn’t make my top five but are still undeniably good. Something You Should Know by Mike Carruthers, Still Processing by Wesley Morris and Jenna Wortham, and I Don’t Get It by Ashley and Lauren Iaconetti are a few more. Trust me the list goes on..
Now it’s your turn! Comment below and share your all-time favorite podcasts! I look forward to tuning into some killer content.
Xoxo KayMeetsWest
Cruelty-Free Makeup Brands
What do you mean companies are still testing their products on animals? Shouldn’t we know by now what works and what doesn’t? How are we still performing this cruel type of behavior?
Believe it or not, some countries require testing on animals in order to sell there. That’s right, even if a company states they do not test their products on animals, in the small print it could say except where testing is required. Companies will use these tactics to hide the fact that they’re still performing this inhumane act.
So how do you know if your products are cruelty-free?
Knowing what to look for helps- pay attention to how the description is worded and flag the ones that sound suspicious. Websites like cruelty-free kitty and ethical elephant are great resources as well! For the mean time, check the list I’ve compiled of my favorite CF cosmetic brands!
CRUELTY-FREE MAKEUP BRANDS:
COVER FX
KAT VON D
URBAN DECAY
ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS
TARTE
TWO-FACED
SMASHBOX
NYX
FENTY BEAUTY
LIME CRIME
After learning what products are cruelty-free, I now only support those companies. Not only are those brands extremely credible, but they’ve chosen not to test on animals. I choose to stand behind those companies because testing on animals is unnecessary, cruel and inhumane. Join the movement and say yes to cruelty-free makeup!
Wondering what cosmetic brands still test on animals? Check the following list and get ready to say goodbye to some of your favorite brands! Perhaps these companies don’t test on animals in the United States, but if they sell in China they automatically test on animals there! Not everyone has the time to do research – so I hope this list assures you what brands support animals and what brands don’t.
NO-NO’S
AVON
BENEFIT
BOBBI-BROWN
NARS
DIOR
MAC
SEPHORA
CLINIQUE
LANCOME
MAKE UP FOREVER
This article was written in April of 2018, and I will try to keep update it as policies continue to change. I hope with having this knowledge, you’ll decide which brands to love, share and support. Please visit the following website to learn more about CF and Vegan brands:
https://www.crueltyfreekitty.com/
https://www.fda.gov/cosmetics/
30-Day Vegan Challenge
Ever thought about saving the world one meal at a time? Well read my journey to get a sneak peek into the life of an up-and-coming vegan.
THE WHY:
Why would anyone want to go vegan?
Let’s start with the selfish reasons:
Jump starts your immune and digestive system.
Increases your energy.
Slims you down.
Fights disease.
Now let’s think bigger than ourselves.
The Humane Reason:
Saves animals.
Conserves water.
Combats world hunger.
Reduces your carbon footprint.
My heart knew going vegan was the right thing to do, but I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to crack and break the diet, and I didn’t want to binge on carbs all day either. I wanted to find a balance and experience what a vegan lifestyle had to offer. So I embarked upon on a 30-day vegan challenge.
So did I survive?
Well I’m writing this, so I guess I already gave it away.
The following is a diary series from the 30-Day Challenge:
Day one
Make meal plan – get grocery list- go shopping- stalk up.
Goal: don’t starve to death or pass out.
Day five
Saying “oh is that vegan?” actually makes me feel good. It automatically tells people I care enough about animals and the environment to sacrifice my lifestyle and eating habits. I did have trouble finding something I could eat at Starbucks the other day.. which was sad. Looks like I need to stalk menus before I grab dinner with my friends or swing by to grab food somewhere to make sure I can modify my options, making them vegan friendly. It’s worth it though! Definitely feels good to say I’m trying a 30-day vegan challenge!
Side note: I am deeply craving chocolate. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m not crying. You’re crying.
Day ten
Is going vegan similar to a placebo effect? I feel like I have more energy… but do I really? Well one thing’s for sure, I don’t feel sluggish after I eat anymore. I don’t want to crawl in bed or lay on the couch. I want to go for a walk or play with my dog, and that alone makes me feel great.
Goodbye bloating, hello veganism.
Day fifteen
I am obsessed with cooking vegan meals and baking vegan desserts. It’s challenging and rewarding, for two reasons. 1. I feel proud of myself for making these beautiful colorful meals and baking delicious vegan treats. 2. My mind and body are in sync. Both feel amazing after I consume anything I cook.
The downside of cooking vegan meals:
Dinners have been taking up to 2 hours.. This could be due to bad planning on my part. Perhaps I should start meal prepping? Or picking recipes that don’t take as long? I need to come up with a solution because it’s taking away from me pretending I have a life.
Save the worldone meal at a time
Day twenty
I am sincerely impressed with how well the restaurant industry has kept up with veganism. Today I wanted to explore the best vegan restaurants in Los Angeles. This might of put a hole in my wallet but oh well. YOLO right? You only letgoofmeatanddairy once.
Day twenty five
Still in a food-coma from LA. I’ll get back to you.
Day thirty.
30-DAYS IS COMPLETE. I feel so many emotions right now.
Proud, happy, excited, energized, motivated, the list goes on.
I cannot believe I thought this was “too hard” to try. Don’t get me wrong there were times when I wanted pizza but I can honestly say those carvings went away after the first week. I am ecstatic that I completed my 30-day vegan challenge.
So now what?
You got it. I’m extending my challenge. Let’s see if I can complete another 30-days. I want to see more results and connect with more people who are part of the Vegan community! And to all those thinking about trying a 30-Day Challenge..let me be your motivation- you got this!
http://vegnews.com/articles/page.do?pageId=4425&catId=3https://www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/why-go-veganhttps://www.peta.org/living/food/top-10-reasons-go-vegan-new-year/
Like 4 Like? Why Social Media Can Be Toxic
What is about social media that draws us in? Why is it so addicting?
I think we can all agree that there definitely are some perks. It’s motivating, inspiring and makes us feel a little bit cooler than we are.
But I started to notice there was a direct correlation between how much time I was spending on my aps and how I was feeling internally.
This got me thinking… am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who feels worse about themselves after spending hours scrolling through Instagram? My self-confidence is at an all time high one minute, and the next, it’s completely gone.
Maybe it’s just me. I started doing some research on how social media, particularly Instagram, affects us. My initially reaction to my findings: maybe it’s not just me..
The three D's
1. Distracting
Why is it so hard to be in the present moment?
We’re so afraid of what we’ll miss out on if we don’t check our aps.. And believe me. I am queen of FOMO. I’m constantly stressing out about what I could be missing if I don’t go on social media. It got to the point where I automatically would open Instagram and Snapchat as soon as I woke up. It becomes a bad habit, and it’s hard to break it.
2. It’s Disorienting:
Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by social media.
Ok. so all of us.
Raise your hand if you’ve deleted a photo on IG because it didn’t get enough likes.
Ok. so all of us.
What does it mean if you don’t get enough likes? Does your value go down? We’ve become so disoriented. Most of us measure our self-worth and success based on numbers and popularity these days. On how many followers you have.. How many likes you have… how many people watch your snap story etc.
Let’s face it, most of us aren’t as cool as we appear on social media. Most of the content we put out there is really just a highlight reel of our lives.
3. It’s Draining:
We’re living in a world where we feel a pressure to compete. Like Lauryn Evarts from the Skinny Confidential said, “It’s a comparison game.” Doesn’t that sound exhausting? We’re comparing our lives to other people’s highlight reels.. and what starts to happen is that we feel like we don’t measure up. We’re not good enough, or pretty enough or skinny enough or rich enough, and that feeling of envy and jealousy can destroy you. Sound familiar? It’s so hard to focus on being the best version of yourself when you keep giving social media the power to decide if you’re good enough.
The more ted talks I watched, and podcasts I listened to I realized this wasn’t just a “me” problem. This affects our entire generation. And how many of us really talk about it?
I’ve brainstormed a few ways to combat the 3 D’s.. with 3 more D’s.. because you can never how too much D.
(donuts. duh)
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Number one: Detach.
Back the F up. Don’t post for a week. Maybe unfollow people who you’ve never met. Delete your apps for a few days. Whatever that looks like for you.
Try and survive without social media for a few days see how you feel. It might be refreshing to detach and realize there’s more to life than how many people follow you on Instagram.
Number two: Down-to-Earth
KEEP IT REAL. If you don’t know what I mean by that.. Just type in the hashtag #realstagram. Shout out to my Boss Bitch, Kaitlyn Bristowe.
Number three: Do you.
Instead of comparing ourselves, we should be embracing what makes us unique.
It’s hard to feel content when you’re looking for others to make you feel complete.
Figure out what’s missing from your life.. And how to get it.
Because some random instafamous girl isn’t gonna fill your soul.
Do what makes you truly happy and don’t worry about what other people doing.
I too was entranced with what others were doing on social media. I needed to change the way I thought about social media.
One of my favorite quotes by Dave Willis is good reminder on how to view social media.
“Don’t use social media to impress people; use it to impact people.” Social media doesn’t have to consume all your time and energy. And it certainly does not have the right to judge or validate you as a person.
I know social media can seem negative some times, but if you turn the lens and shift your focus, you might see it from a different perspective. Everyone has a highlight reel, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t get caught up in the comparison game or FOMO. Focus on the now. I’m sure if you’re reading this you have a lot of things to be grateful for.. and they don’t have to do with social media. So don’t let social media bring you down or make you sad.
Here’s a little piece of inspiration from Sophia Amoruso, “The energy you’ll expend focusing on someone else’s life is better spent working on your own. Just be your own idol.”
He loves me, he loves me not (either way you’re gonna be ok) #selflove
You’re either stoked for this “holiday” or looking for the nearest rock to crawl under. I’ve been on both sides before. Freshman year of college, I got denied when I asked someone to be my Valentine. Guess what happened next? That’s right, I threw my phone against the wall.
Oh, how things changed.
The next year I made a bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries hand dipped in pink rainbow sprinkles. I guess you could say I was struck with cupid’s bow and arrow. Valentine’s Day meant I could express my slushy feelings and have an excuse to wear red lipstick. It was a win, win.
I think most of us have a love-hate relationship with February 14th. And why wouldn’t we? There’s a lot of pressure that goes into V-Day. “Are we exchanging gifts this year?” “Where do we go to dinner?” “What’s the perfect present?” Valentine’s Day can be stressful. You’re either stalking Pinterest for hours on end, or wondering why you haven’t found “love” yet.
The other burden that comes with Valentine’s Day is that it forces you to reflect on your current “love-life” and suggests if you’re not in a relationship, you’re not allowed to celebrate love. It’s so exclusive that some of us don’t even acknowledge it anymore. Others, only celebrate Feb. 13th – “Galentine’s Day.” This up-and-coming craze is a day to celebrate “GALS” by embracing friendship and womanhood. Galentine’s Day proves that honoring love doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship.
Maybe, I want to buy myself bouquet of roses.
Instead of throwing my phone against that wall freshman year, I should’ve gone and brushed my shoulders off. So what if he doesn’t want to be my valentine? I’ll be my own damn valentine.
You got it.
I’m talking self-love.
There are many definitions to self-love, but the overall theme is to value your own self-worth and nurture your wellbeing. This Valentine’s Day, I challenge all of you to recognize your worthiness – whether you’re in a relationship or not. Throw in a deep-tissue massage while you’re at it. Inspirational author, Rupi Kaur suggests,
“You must
Want to spend
The rest of your life
With yourself
First.”
Kaur’s insight is especially powerful during this time of year. At the end of the day you have to remember to take care of yourself. Be your number one fan. You don’t need someone to validate how great you are.
And when you’re feeling down in the dumps, remember what the brilliant Carrie Bradshaw said “Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.” This statement is so relevant! Be comfortable being your own valentine this year and show yourself the love you deserve.
Instead of having a negative or stressful relationship with Valentine’s Day, you should be excited to reflect on how far you’ve come and enjoy pampering yourself. I hope everyone has a wonderful V-Day and receives the love they deserve.
Xoxo Gossip Girl
Jk it’s Kayla.
Remember that time you were perfect? Oh yeah, me either… Embrace those flaws!
Ever walk past a mirror and can’t help but stare? Ever try clothes on and have a nervous breakdown? Ever rewatch your Snap story ten times and think ‘creative genius’? Ever compare yourself to people you don’t even know and feel like you don’t measure up?
Most of us can agree that we have experienced a version of said thoughts. Some days you feel like Beyoncé, and other days you feel like you’d rather get punched in the face by Regina George than leave your house.
We all have insecurities, whether we like to admit them or not. Surprise! You’re a human being! All of us have flaws, and it’s okay to admit them! Be real and be human. [Fake news was so 2017]. If someone says, “I don’t have any flaws,” that should raise an eyebrow… they probably have more than they can count. #yikes.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being confident or comfortable in your own skin, but being able to admit that you have flaws is empowering. Embracing your flaws shows how secure you truly are.
I challenge everyone reading this blog to recognize and embrace your insecurities.* Dr. Steve Marboli’s world renown book, Unapologetically You, argues that “there is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” Marboli’s insight makes me think about imperfections in a different way. Although I’m still guilty of comparing myself to others or not wanting to wear certain things because I feel insecure, I am trying to accept myself the way I am. And since I’m trying to practice what I preach.. I figured I’d share one of my biggest insecurities with you all.
“How cute is my Psoriasis?” - Said no one ever..
Some days it’s hardly noticeable; other days I feel like a scaly boa constrictor. I’ve had ‘difficult’ skin for as long as I can remember.
When I was a kid, I had Eczema, and we all thought I was allergic to peanut butter..
Thank G that ended.
Next, was the aggressive chicken skin that showed up when I was a tween.
After that, I welcomed Psoriasis into my life when I went to college.
And to the weirdest skin disorder I’ve had.. A Fungal infection from the Sun. Tinea Versicolor affects the color of your skin.
My skin and I have had a love-hate relationship for as long as I can remember. I didn’t really have acne growing up, and if I did I always said it was a bug bite. (no one ever believed me, of course). If I forget sunscreen, I won’t burn, so that’s nice. And when my skin isn’t having a temper tantrum, it feels as soft as a baby’s bottom. Some days I try to “love the skin I’m in”, and other days I’m a volcano waiting to erupt.
The one thing I can connect my currently-trending skin problem, psoriasis, is to stress. When I’m having a bad day, my skin will flare up. And I notice the more I think about how “ugly” my psoriasis is, the more stressed I feel..and the vicious cycle begins. Maybe if I just accept myself, and my skin for how it is, I won’t even notice it anymore.
I think a lot of times, we are so consumed by our flaws and begin to obsess over them, and convince ourselves that everyone notices them as much as we do. Is that actually true though? Do people walk around searching for other people’s flaws? I’d like to think no. Let’s accept ourselves and each other for who we are and how we’re designed. Embrace those flaws and support people for doing so! There’s nothing wrong with having flaws.. It’s human. And after all, your “flaw” could be what we find most beautiful on you.
* I never said it was easy
2018 It's Not Too Late...
Congratulations! You’ve made it 2018.
Who’s ready to make this the best year yet? And for those of you saying, “New Year, Same Bullshit,” I’m here to tell you something – We don’t need that kind of negativity in our lives. First of all, it might be new bullshit- so be somewhat excited.
A new year gives you the chance to let go of all the negativity and bad energy you felt in 2017. Something significant happens when the clock strikes 12 AM, and we fall into a new year. You now have the motivation to set new goals and re-evaluate old ones. Make new friends and nurture the old ones. Learn to let go and move forward. A new year, means a new chapter in the book, and it’s not too late to rewrite a few pages.
It’s not too late to forgive- yourself and others. Stop being so hard on yourself, stop comparing yourself, stop feeling like you don’t measure up, or didn’t meet your resolutions from 2017. You learn, and you grow. Progress comes in all shapes and sizes and may not even seem visible at first. 2018 is the year to show yourself love and support and surround yourself with only the best.
If something is holding you back, find a way to disable it.Things change, people change, YOU change; and it’s ok to admit you may be on a different path than those that seemed so close to you at one point. Being able to detect what relationships are toxic is a powerful skill to have. And if there’s still anger trapped inside of you, figure out a way to release it.
There’s nothing worse than holding a grudge. It eats away at you like maggots gnawing on leftover bones. Ask yourself why you’re still angry about something that happened years ago? (unless someone slept with your significant other – then take that shit to the grave with you).
But seriously, it’s unhealthy, and you’re doing yourself a disservice. No good comes from holding a grudge. You’re not proving a point – maybe to yourself you are, but even then you’re only showing that you hold onto animosity longer than most.
Don’t be afraid to let it go and don’t let your pride keep you from re-evaluating a situation or forgiving someone. Learning how to be flexible is one of the best skills you can have. There’s a difference between being salty versus experiencing a deep feeling of rage toward someone. Wouldn’t you rather spend that energy on bettering yourself? Be strong and recognize what you do and don’t deserve. And if anyone tries to bring you down send them a copy of *NSYNC’s track (bye, bye, bye).
2018 is your year to conquer. It’s not too late to ‘do the damn thing.’ I hope this article inspires at least one person to think positively about the upcoming 12 months- you got this!
My last piece of advice: don’t burn bridges, don’t wish bad upon others & don’t look directly into the solar eclipse.
What I Wish I Knew
What I Wish I Knew:
This isn’t going to last forever.
There is nothing wrong with you.
What I Wish I Knew:
Stand up for your friends.
Stand up for yourself.
What I Wish I Knew:
Don’t fight fire with fire.
Fight fire with water.
I am twelve years-old.
Boys are mean.
I am teased.
I am patient.
What I Wish I Knew:
Don’t tattle tail.
But don’t take shit.
What I Wish I Knew:
Don’t sacrifice who you are
For the convenience of other people.
What I Wish I Knew:
There is no direct solution.
Ignoring them doesn’t work.
Yelling back doesn’t work.
I am thirteen years-old.
Boys are cruel.
I am taunted.
I am patient.
What I Wish I Knew:
You are not alone.
You have your self.
What I Wish I Knew:
Not everyone is happy with who they are,
They will take it out on you.
What I Wish I Knew:
Don’t let them knock you down.
Keep your head up.
I am fourteen years-old.
Boys are vicious.
I am tormented
I am getting impatient.
What I Wish I Knew:
Use their words as motivation.
Head for the light at the end of the tunnel and don’t look back.
What I Wish I Knew:
Jennifer Lawrence got bullied.
Jennifer Lawrence obviously won that battle.
What I Wish I Knew:
They don’t have a soul.
Don’t let them take yours.
Middle school was an anxiety-ridden prison cell for me. I remember walking home one time, and a group of boys ran out like a stampede and threw me against the ground. It was covered in snow. I walked home in wet clothes that day, feeling numb. From the cold or from exhaustion, I’m not quite sure.
I wish I could go back-in-time and revisit myself that day. I wish I could give myself a hug, and tell myself that this won’t last forever. Life is tough, but so are you.
The world doesn’t have to be a cold place. You might feel alone, like you’re the only one going through this, but unfortunately, that is far from the truth. Bullying has no preference. It will pick anyone; it is desperate and insecure. Hearing other people share their stories shows me that we’re in this together.
Activist, Demi Lovato opened up about her experience with bullying. She shares a powerful message, “The last decade has taught me a lifetime of lessons. I’ve learned that secrets make you sick, I’m learning how to be a voice and not a victim. I’ve learned that sex is natural. I’ve learned that love is necessary, heartbreak is unavoidable, and loneliness is brutal. I’ve learned that the key to being happy is to tell your truth and be OK without all the answers.”
I had no choice but to learn to ‘tell my truth’ and to love myself so hard that other people’s opinions eventually didn’t matter. And looking back, I now agree with Paulo Coelho more than ever, “How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” It’s hard not to take things personally but Demi’s suggestion, “be a voice and not a victim” should help you realize millions of people are fighting this battle. Stand up for yourself, and stand up for each other. Together, we can overcome bullying.
And a message to all the bullies out there – think about what you say and how you say it. Words can never be taken back. Try to spread love and not hate. And remember to treat others the way ALL HUMAN BEINGS deserve to be treated.
Please visit this website for more information on bullying: https://www.stopbullying.gov/media/facts/index.html