What is about social media that draws us in? Why is it so addicting?

I think we can all agree that there definitely are some perks. It’s motivating, inspiring and makes us feel a little bit cooler than we are.

But I started to notice there was a direct correlation between how much time I was spending on my aps and how I was feeling internally. 

This got me thinking… am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who feels worse about themselves after spending hours scrolling through Instagram? My self-confidence is at an all time high one minute, and the next, it’s completely gone.

Maybe it’s just me. I started doing some research on how social media, particularly Instagram, affects us. My initially reaction to my findings: maybe it’s not just me.. 

The three D's

                                                                   1. Distracting

Why is it so hard to be in the present moment?

We’re so afraid of what we’ll miss out on if we don’t check our aps.. And believe me. I am queen of FOMO. I’m constantly stressing out about what I could be missing if I don’t go on social media. It got to the point where I automatically would open Instagram and Snapchat as soon as I woke up. It becomes a bad habit, and it’s hard to break it.


2. It’s Disorienting:

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by social media.

Ok. so all of us.

Raise your hand if you’ve deleted a photo on IG because it didn’t get enough likes.

Ok. so all of us.

What does it mean if you don’t get enough likes? Does your value go down?  We’ve become so disoriented. Most of us measure our self-worth and success based on numbers and popularity these days. On how many followers you have.. How many likes you have… how many people watch your snap story etc.

Let’s face it, most of us aren’t as cool as we appear on social media. Most of the content we put out there is really just a highlight reel of our lives.


3. It’s Draining:

We’re living in a world where we feel a pressure to compete. Like Lauryn Evarts from the Skinny Confidential said, “It’s a comparison game.” Doesn’t that sound exhausting? We’re comparing our lives to other people’s highlight reels.. and what starts to happen is that we feel like we don’t measure up. We’re not good enough, or pretty enough or skinny enough or rich enough, and that feeling of envy and jealousy can destroy you. Sound familiar? It’s so hard to focus on being the best version of yourself when you keep giving social media the power to decide if you’re good enough.

The more ted talks I watched, and podcasts I listened to I realized this wasn’t just a “me” problem. This affects our entire generation. And how many of us really talk about it?

I’ve brainstormed a few ways to combat the 3 D’s.. with 3 more D’s.. because you can never how too much D.

(donuts. duh)

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Number one: Detach.

Back the F up. Don’t post for a week. Maybe unfollow people who you’ve never met. Delete your apps for a few days. Whatever that looks like for you.

Try and survive without social media for a few days see how you feel. It might be refreshing to detach and realize there’s more to life than how many people follow you on Instagram.

Number two: Down-to-Earth

KEEP IT REAL. If you don’t know what I mean by that.. Just type in the hashtag #realstagram. Shout out to my Boss Bitch, Kaitlyn Bristowe.

Number three: Do you.

Instead of comparing ourselves, we should be embracing what makes us unique.

It’s hard to feel content when you’re looking for others to make you feel complete.

Figure out what’s missing from your life.. And how to get it.

Because some random instafamous girl isn’t gonna fill your soul.

Do what makes you truly happy and don’t worry about what other people doing. 

I too was entranced with what others were doing on social media. I needed to change the way I thought about social media.

One of my favorite quotes by Dave Willis is good reminder on how to view social media.

“Don’t use social media to impress people; use it to impact people.” Social media doesn’t have to consume all your time and energy. And it certainly does not have the right to judge or validate you as a person. 

I know social media can seem negative some times, but if you turn the lens and shift your focus, you might see it from a different perspective. Everyone has a highlight reel, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t get caught up in the comparison game or FOMO. Focus on the now. I’m sure if you’re reading this you have a lot of things to be grateful for.. and they don’t have to do with social media. So don’t let social media bring you down or make you sad.

Here’s a little piece of inspiration from Sophia Amoruso, “The energy you’ll expend focusing on someone else’s life is better spent working on your own. Just be your own idol.”